The lovely weather continues although it's been increasingly windy, such that our lawns are now covered in pale pink cherry blossom which looks like a rather pretty confetti, and when we went out earlier today in the car we found Paving Brow closed as a tree had fallen right across it! In addition quite a large proportion of our big bonfire-to-be (branches from shrubs my Father-in-Law chopped down, in the former pond hole) blew into the side of the ferret run. I put it back together and tried to get it lighted, but unfortunately it's too green at the moment.
I haven't done any more gardening since last weekend and it's as if having almost finished the lawn project (I am just waiting for the afore-mentioned bonfire to take place so that I can then spread a layer of compost over the entire area and then sow the lawn seed) I've rather lost enthusiasm. In fact generally I'm not feeling particularly enthusiastic about anything: I start singing lessons again this week and had a French lesson last week but I seem to be in a wanting to sit, read and sleep type mood. Maybe it's been prompted by my reading the final of the Harry Potter books. I don't know why, but I have found them all compulsive reading and have been staying up far later than I should with my nose stuck in the last one. Hence I'm tired....
The baby, bless him, didn't wake until 5.45 this morning: so that's twice now he could be said to have gone through the night. The only problem is that he usually nearly wakes at one point at least in the night, tossing and turning and making a lot of noise, and whilst he then settles down and goes back to sleep I'm on tenterhooks: sleepily wanting to snuggle back down under the duvet and go back to sleep but my hearing super-alert in case he decides he really is going to wake up and want milk. He doesn't really like waking in the night anyway: I change his nappy and he keeps his eyes tight shut, just making minor noises of objection and eating his fist to demonstrate that he'd like his milk.
Yesterday I watched the Royal Wedding on TV apart from a large section in the middle when the Baby needed a clean nappy. I thought the dress was lovely but I kept thinking, for some reason, of Henry VIII and all his wives. Also where was the Princess Royal? Husband was working and kept poking his head around the door every-so-often to say what a load of rubbish, etc.: but I do rather wish my wedding had been a bit more sumptious and I will admit now to having a wish as a little girl that I could marry a Prince (and Daughter is now expressing the same wish!).
I don't suppose life is simple for people with that sort of wealth, but you can't help thinking that they can buy themselves out of a lot of problems: and that it really is a completely different world. I guess at the moment it made me particularly conscious of how much less money I have than I had before I had children: but then, which would I rather have? (hmmm - sometimes, the money!!! Both older children ended up in their separate bedrooms yesterday, they were so awful - bickering, Daughter being rude and disobedient....). So job-hunting will start in earnest soon.... and so will getting fit and losing weight and singing practice and making sure I get more French done and trying to get the freelance side of things going more.... But in the meantime let's just enjoy the weather and the fact that in the middle of a more-or-less worldwide recession, we all had the excuse for a bit of a party!
Saturday, 30 April 2011
Wednesday, 20 April 2011
SLEEPING THROUGH!
The Baby slept through until 6.15a.m. last night!
Only a few days ago he had a stinking cold and was waking me up with his grunting. Ex-work friend L. - who henceforth is going to be referred to as Godmother L. - and I went for a walk up Heughscar Hill on Monday, with the Baby in his buggy. We were rewarded with a fantastic, albeit slightly misty, view over to Ullswater from the top but the Baby objected wildly to trying to drink milk with the wind blowing relatively vigorously and a bunged up nose. I don't think GodML had seen him so upset and cross and red in the face before. Not long after however he was back to his normal cheery self and the last couple of days, now that the snotty nose is far less snotty, he has been very smiley. I thought some fresh air would do him good!
He loves being outside. We were in Forfar at the weekend, dropping off Older Son and Daughter at my sister-in-laws for Scotland Nanny and Grandad to pick up for a few days holiday (and being spoilt) in Aberdeen. Sister-in-Law lives next to a field with some trees round it, and the Baby loved watching them blowing in the breeze. I'm not sure what sort of tree they were but they were quite 'light' and bendy and made a gentle swooshing noise as the wind blew through them.
He's also been outside in our garden in his buggy or on a blanket recently while I dig. I'm making progress in terms of converting an old border into lawn: I've dug over about half of it and moved some plants I wanted to keep to other places in the garden, the pond hole is full of stuff which is going to make a fantastic bonfire/barbeque at the weekend, and by the time I've levelled it and raked it I reckon we'll need very little compost to finish it off.
The only problem is that the other two are always attracted to freshly dug soil......
Daughter had an intensive swimming course last week - five lessons in five days - and by the end could, basically, swim. Well, she was wearing one armband, which as the teacher said, was giving her no help (other than psychological) at all. I guess the psychological help is pretty key though! She also won the Grand National (well, BallaBriggs did, which was a close enough match for Husband's boss to put a bet on).
GodML has a new job which she starts soon, which is great - and near her home, too (or will be). I shall miss meeting up and going for walks though. It's always easier to explore when there's someone to explore with. Meanwhile I need votes on what to do with my hair. Do I dye it again or go grey gracefully? Long or short? I'm tempted by the cheapest option of a cut and blow dry but also, despite being proud to be able to conceive and bear a child at nearly 50, have to admit to rather a lot of vanity and did think whilst watching the television this morning that almost all the female presenters have their hair dyed.....
Only a few days ago he had a stinking cold and was waking me up with his grunting. Ex-work friend L. - who henceforth is going to be referred to as Godmother L. - and I went for a walk up Heughscar Hill on Monday, with the Baby in his buggy. We were rewarded with a fantastic, albeit slightly misty, view over to Ullswater from the top but the Baby objected wildly to trying to drink milk with the wind blowing relatively vigorously and a bunged up nose. I don't think GodML had seen him so upset and cross and red in the face before. Not long after however he was back to his normal cheery self and the last couple of days, now that the snotty nose is far less snotty, he has been very smiley. I thought some fresh air would do him good!
He loves being outside. We were in Forfar at the weekend, dropping off Older Son and Daughter at my sister-in-laws for Scotland Nanny and Grandad to pick up for a few days holiday (and being spoilt) in Aberdeen. Sister-in-Law lives next to a field with some trees round it, and the Baby loved watching them blowing in the breeze. I'm not sure what sort of tree they were but they were quite 'light' and bendy and made a gentle swooshing noise as the wind blew through them.
He's also been outside in our garden in his buggy or on a blanket recently while I dig. I'm making progress in terms of converting an old border into lawn: I've dug over about half of it and moved some plants I wanted to keep to other places in the garden, the pond hole is full of stuff which is going to make a fantastic bonfire/barbeque at the weekend, and by the time I've levelled it and raked it I reckon we'll need very little compost to finish it off.
The only problem is that the other two are always attracted to freshly dug soil......
Daughter had an intensive swimming course last week - five lessons in five days - and by the end could, basically, swim. Well, she was wearing one armband, which as the teacher said, was giving her no help (other than psychological) at all. I guess the psychological help is pretty key though! She also won the Grand National (well, BallaBriggs did, which was a close enough match for Husband's boss to put a bet on).
GodML has a new job which she starts soon, which is great - and near her home, too (or will be). I shall miss meeting up and going for walks though. It's always easier to explore when there's someone to explore with. Meanwhile I need votes on what to do with my hair. Do I dye it again or go grey gracefully? Long or short? I'm tempted by the cheapest option of a cut and blow dry but also, despite being proud to be able to conceive and bear a child at nearly 50, have to admit to rather a lot of vanity and did think whilst watching the television this morning that almost all the female presenters have their hair dyed.....
Friday, 8 April 2011
TOP GEAR, INSULTS AND LOTS OF OTHER STUFF....
The weather has been fantastic this week and earlier I was enjoying just sitting looking out of my study - the baby's bedroom - window at the view. You're so much more aware of the seasons living in the country: I can see that the trees are beginning to have new leaf buds on them.
I was feeling a bit despondent due to lack of money this week, but one of the things that made me feel better was being insulted by L., the wife of accompanist M. I was saying how despondent I'd felt about my performances at Carlisle Festival and she said that she thought I'd looked dreadful: and also that I had after all only just had a baby. Maybe I really was lacking in energy and that affected my performances - not that I think I would have done any better against the competition, but I might have felt that I had performed better if I had felt more energetic at the time. It also seemed like a long time away from the three children and Husband, and I felt guilty as well that I'd left Husband to deal with them for so long: especially as the Baby is so used to being with me rather than anyone else (I don't remember feeling quite so attached with the other two: maybe it's because this time I am so conscious that this is my last go at being a mother to a newborn baby, and I really appreciate it and feel so lucky that it happened).
I had a thought in relation to having children late the other day. I'd already considered that I grew up late - I was more like a screwed up teenager in my 20s and did what a lot of 20-somethings do in my 30s (being a holiday rep.; going clubbing; falling for unsuitable and non-committal men; developing my career) and so perhaps it was inevitable that it would be in my 40s that I'd do what many people do in their 30s - get married and settle down and produce offspring. But I then had another thought along similar lines. You go through your life trying out various personae: clubber; careerwoman; sportswoman; mother. The trouble with the last is that you can't just walk away from it if you don't like it: but then your overwhelming love for your miraculous children prevents you from doing so. Or at least, it does in most circumstances. And aren't they all just miracles? There are billions of people on this earth and yet each one is unique and a miracle. It's astounding, but I don't think you really appreciate it until you hold a newborn baby in your arms. Just before any child-free people feel insulted, I don't mean only parents appreciate the miracle: I mean that watching a baby blossom and develop into a toddler, a child and then an adult is quite amazing.
I've managed to write relatively little about the Baby in this post but I did want to note that I had him weighed yesterday, at nearly 14 weeks. He was 15lb 5oz and is nearly 75th centile now for weight! I also did a rough measurement of his length at home last night (I wanted to check that he wasn't just short and very fat) and he's also currently quite long. I then looked at Older Son's record and he was almost exactly the same weight and height at the same age: but is now definitely slim and one of the shortest in his class. So who knows how they'll turn out as adults!
Older Son wanted to sleep in bed with me the other night so I told him he could provided that he read to the Baby to get him to go to sleep. He read a book about sharks. It reminded me of the scene in Three Men and a Baby where one of the guys is reading an account of a baseball match to the baby girl, and says that it doesn't matter what you read, it's your tone of voice that counts. The Baby certainly seems just to love people talking to him, whatever rubbish it is: and will often burst into giggles about very little.
But I shall stop writing about my beautiful children and go off to bed. I get so cross with the older two at times: but I do so thank God or Nature or whatever for them. I wish I could learn not to get so wound-up: but I'm a mother - I have to have several things to be guilty about!
Tuesday, 22 March 2011
SPRING HAS SPRUNG!
My garden is looking increasingly colourful as all the bulbs I planted last year and the year before come bursting through: today I spotted a weeny teeny daffodil which I didn't even know was there! I still have a load of plants to transplant from the old pond area to elsewhere in the garden, and the irises (well, I think that's what they were anyway) are already over - but then you're meant to transplant them, apparently 'in the green'. I wonder if any bluebells will come up this year: early yet for them but last year they all came up blind, which was disappointing. Wouldn't it be fantastic if this year I had a sort of blue mist effect like I used to see in Whippendell Woods in Watford when cycling or running down there?
It's very difficult to remain downheartened for too long when the sun's out and spring is in the air. I feel low about my singing, but after all that is only one element of my life: and the Baby's increasingly cheeky smile and baby coos and chuckles beat everything.
(photo taken Feb.)
Yesterday - the spring equinox - was Oldest Son's 7th birthday and as a treat school and I let him have a day off and I took him to the Great North Museum in Newcastle. It's fab., though because I had to take the Baby as well I did spend a lot of time feeding the latter, much to the disgust of Oldest Son. The idea had been in part to make up to him for the fact that his nose has been put a bit out of joint since the Baby came along and he's had less attention, though both he and Daughter do seem genuinely to love the Baby. Oldest Son particularly seems to be calming down and being quite responsible towards the Baby, especially as the latter will now look at him and smile in an 'your my older brother and I look up to you' sort of way.
The sun was glorious and a warm 14 degrees over in Newcastle - back over this side of the country we were down to 11 degrees. Today here has been 'balmy with a bit of coolness in the air'. I could have gone out in the garden to move some more plants but I also had emails and so forth to catch up on and so the opportunity passed.
It would have been the day for a run, trying out the 'new' buggy, but the opportunity for that also passed. I guess I should just be hard-hearted and skip paying the bills and so forth but somehow housework, sending an email around to the choir to check they know there's no practice next week, etc., seemed more of a priority. Or maybe I was just being lazy.... After my run with Running Friend P. on Sunday, which I thought was quite a success, I really should build on the fact that I'm not as unfit as I thought I might be, and I don't have much excuse to keep exercising and to lose the baby weight.
The Woman article finally got published today. It's not as bad as I had feared, although there were bits which were completely made up (I've never mentioned anything about the school run being anything like Benny Hill). At least it means that in 6 weeks' time there should be a cheque in the post. The journalist who introduced me to Woman is now going to contact Femail. We'll see....
It would be just as well if I got some money as I'm overdrawn more than I expected (the birthday present I ordered my Mum from M&S has not been sent out as funds weren't available to pay for it), I have a piano repair to pay for and I'd also like to have a decent (50th) birthday party later in the year. Along these lines, I really do need to find a job by about mid-August so I must get around to revising my CV and recording a couple of demo discs. Perhaps if I get some money from things other than Maternity Allowance or Child Benefit I could use it to pay to for the Baby to have a couple of days, or half days, at nursery, the problem being of course that at the moment I'm trying to do everything and look after the Baby at the same time. I do think 3 months is too young to start nursery, but a few hours once in a while would just give me some freedom to try to get some future employment generated.
I would also be far better off not having to do so much housework. I hope Husband never reads this particular blog posting as today I did something which he had warned me against and which I know he'll be annoyed about. The Christmas before last (2009) he gave me a Norwegian jumper. I've always liked them, although admittedly this one would have been better if it had been longer, been a jumper rather than a cardigan, and if it had been designed specifically for a woman rather than a man. But I know that Husband had put a bit of thought into choosing it and also that it was expensive, and when he gave it to me he said I'd have to be careful washing it (I have a track record of shrinking delicates and breaking glasses). Well, today I put it in a very gentle wash in the washing machine.... except it wasn't gentle enough. It is now too small for me, slightly felt-like in appearance, and a bit on the big side still for Oldest Son. Oh dear. I think I shall hope that he doesn't notice it on the drying rack (in the Utility Room, so he's unlikely to look at it unless he's looking for running kit - not on that particular rack - or if he notices as he goes past to the loo or to turn the heating on) and then quietly send it off to the next of the many charity bag collections which comes along. Oh dear oh dear oh dear.
That's all for now as I need to get the children to bed (the Baby is already in bed asleep: he is so very, very good - you put him in his bed, he objects for a few minutes, and then he conks out). Oldest Son is probably already asleep in front of the science programme he wanted to watch on TV but Daughter is leaping around eating apples. Tomorrow Husband is helping with the school run, which is good, and I think I'll take the Baby to Aquatots so long as it doesn't coincide with his telling me he's starving hungry. Au revoir!
It's very difficult to remain downheartened for too long when the sun's out and spring is in the air. I feel low about my singing, but after all that is only one element of my life: and the Baby's increasingly cheeky smile and baby coos and chuckles beat everything.
(photo taken Feb.)The sun was glorious and a warm 14 degrees over in Newcastle - back over this side of the country we were down to 11 degrees. Today here has been 'balmy with a bit of coolness in the air'. I could have gone out in the garden to move some more plants but I also had emails and so forth to catch up on and so the opportunity passed.
It would have been the day for a run, trying out the 'new' buggy, but the opportunity for that also passed. I guess I should just be hard-hearted and skip paying the bills and so forth but somehow housework, sending an email around to the choir to check they know there's no practice next week, etc., seemed more of a priority. Or maybe I was just being lazy.... After my run with Running Friend P. on Sunday, which I thought was quite a success, I really should build on the fact that I'm not as unfit as I thought I might be, and I don't have much excuse to keep exercising and to lose the baby weight.
The Woman article finally got published today. It's not as bad as I had feared, although there were bits which were completely made up (I've never mentioned anything about the school run being anything like Benny Hill). At least it means that in 6 weeks' time there should be a cheque in the post. The journalist who introduced me to Woman is now going to contact Femail. We'll see....
It would be just as well if I got some money as I'm overdrawn more than I expected (the birthday present I ordered my Mum from M&S has not been sent out as funds weren't available to pay for it), I have a piano repair to pay for and I'd also like to have a decent (50th) birthday party later in the year. Along these lines, I really do need to find a job by about mid-August so I must get around to revising my CV and recording a couple of demo discs. Perhaps if I get some money from things other than Maternity Allowance or Child Benefit I could use it to pay to for the Baby to have a couple of days, or half days, at nursery, the problem being of course that at the moment I'm trying to do everything and look after the Baby at the same time. I do think 3 months is too young to start nursery, but a few hours once in a while would just give me some freedom to try to get some future employment generated.
I would also be far better off not having to do so much housework. I hope Husband never reads this particular blog posting as today I did something which he had warned me against and which I know he'll be annoyed about. The Christmas before last (2009) he gave me a Norwegian jumper. I've always liked them, although admittedly this one would have been better if it had been longer, been a jumper rather than a cardigan, and if it had been designed specifically for a woman rather than a man. But I know that Husband had put a bit of thought into choosing it and also that it was expensive, and when he gave it to me he said I'd have to be careful washing it (I have a track record of shrinking delicates and breaking glasses). Well, today I put it in a very gentle wash in the washing machine.... except it wasn't gentle enough. It is now too small for me, slightly felt-like in appearance, and a bit on the big side still for Oldest Son. Oh dear. I think I shall hope that he doesn't notice it on the drying rack (in the Utility Room, so he's unlikely to look at it unless he's looking for running kit - not on that particular rack - or if he notices as he goes past to the loo or to turn the heating on) and then quietly send it off to the next of the many charity bag collections which comes along. Oh dear oh dear oh dear.
That's all for now as I need to get the children to bed (the Baby is already in bed asleep: he is so very, very good - you put him in his bed, he objects for a few minutes, and then he conks out). Oldest Son is probably already asleep in front of the science programme he wanted to watch on TV but Daughter is leaping around eating apples. Tomorrow Husband is helping with the school run, which is good, and I think I'll take the Baby to Aquatots so long as it doesn't coincide with his telling me he's starving hungry. Au revoir!
Friday, 11 March 2011
WOW!
The Baby has had a particularly unsettled week. He seems to have been talking to his sister, who as a baby rarely slept during the day, as he's not been sleeping much in the daytime. Yesterday he hardly slept at all and I even resorted to going on a 'magical mystery tour', about which more later. I think he must be on a growth spurt as he has been feeding as if he's afraid that milk supplies are about to dry up: 37oz in a day as opposed to what it says 'on the label', i.e. 30oz: and not vomiting much of it up either.
BUT joy of joys (although doubtless a one-off), last night he slept from 8.30pm to 4.30am. OK, it would have been better if it had been 10.30pm to 6.30am but he seems to have established a bedtime for himself so I'm happy to go with the bedtime for now as he's bound to start sleeping through the night sooner or later, and he only needs to sleep for a couple more hours to be there. I'm sure tonight will be a totally different kettle of fish but it was nice to have unbroken sleep for as long as I did, and it was a pleasant surprise to look at the clock and find that it was getting on for morning rather than only just past midnight.
The weather has been most peculiar this week. On Wednesday we had every type of weather except hail or thunderstorms; yesterday we had every type of weather except snow or thunderstorms; today we've had every type of weather except hail or thunderstorms again and the sleety snow which fell early this evening even made a damp whiteish layer on the ground for a while. Every day I've thought that the children and I would 'walk home from school' (really from the Lane End pub) or go for a walk at Talkin Tarn, but the Baby and the weather between them have conspired against us. We also intended to go to the after-school service which the local church has started holding each Tuesday, but the Baby was too unsettled. Older Son was really upset to miss out on the pancakes.....
Yesterday having had an afternoon which alternated bright sunlight with pouring rain, I decided we'd go to buy Daughter some new shoes after school as her other pair has completely disappeared so her footwear for school has been quite odd (she hasn't yet gone in or come home in slippers). A trip to Off the Wall became necessary first as the Baby wanted some milk, and it was an excuse to get someone else to do the cooking and clearing up for the children's tea rather than my trying to get them some tea and feed the Baby at the same time (impossible: something has to give and it's normally their tea, as I can't stand leaving the Baby crying. It's nothing to do with discipline or the Baby having to learn or the fact that you should pick babies who are crying up because they generally only cry for a reason, even if it's boredom: it's because I can't stand the din. Daughter's piercing loud cry as a baby was enough to make me want to do something quite drastic (thank goodness I never did and she is still here and well today) - the Baby is, luckily, somewhat quieter but I'd still rather he didn't cry).
So after their tea we headed to Hamiltons, the shoe shop (which I have to recommend to anyone with children reading this as they really do take care over measuring the children's feet and making sure they have correctly fitted shoes). However having satisfactorily come away with a pair of purple shoes with flowers on and bright pink wellies with purple soles, both purchased at a reduced price, the children proceeded to squabble and the Baby - who by now was completely over-tired - started crying again. I decided we'd go out in the car on a magical mystery tour, and having mentioned the ford, which got the approval of both children, then had in the back of my mind that maybe we could go up to Bewcastle, in the real heart of Border Reivers country.
The ford was running quite high so we had a big debate about whether we'd get through or not and whether we should, both children (the Baby was by now, mercifully, asleep) insisting that we should risk it. In fact it really was quite high - though not dangerously so - as the outside-air-temperature sensors started playing up after we'd gone through and for a while I got some weird readings. We headed up a road which went through Askerton where we saw some llamas or alpacas (I wasn't sure which they were but the children were insistent they were one or another because of the length of their necks, and I'm sure they know) and then to Bewcastle. By now the relatively bare, rolling countryside was bathed in golden evening sunshine as if we were just getting to the end of the most glorious spring day, and the children were happily on the look-out for a haunted house. We went through some beautiful but remote places - such as, on the way back, Kirkcambeck - with some attractive old properties, but a sense of realism reminded me how cut off this area could get in snow in the winter. I think I've been watching too much daytime TV - Homes under the Hammer, Escape to the Country, Wreck or Ready - as I keep wanting to move house. The trouble is I'd need a considerably larger budget than we could feasibly garner at present.
Today the Baby and I met up with Running Friend P., who hadn't seen him since he was a couple of days old, saw some people at my former office, and then went to Keswick for lunch with the friend who adopted a girl this time last year. The daughter is about a year older than mine, and the friend had brought some of the clothes she had grown out of for mine. When we got home this evening there were lots of excited exclamations as each item of clothing was taken out of the bag and admired. Daughter's summer wardrobe is sorted! I'm sure there are some clothes in her wardrobe that she has hardly ever worn, and some that she will never wear: she has far more clothes than I have.
The Baby also has lots of clothes, and having sorted out the 3-6 month clothes for him (he's been eating so much he's already in the smaller end of size 3-6 month clothes now, having mostly grown out of 0-3 months) I realised that all the ones we'd been passed on from the little boy down the road are actually not needed, as we've been given so many. We've had two more parcels this week, one with a pair of 'tigger' slippers for him which are dead cute (but fall off rather easily, unfortunately).
I was going to write my Opera Programme this evening and I really ought to do some singing practice, but despite the not-too-bad night last night the fact remains that being awake at 4.30 a.m. for an hour is not a normal part of an 8-hour sleep, and I was awoken again by Husband's alarm going at 6.30, so I think I shall do the Baby's bottles and hang up the washing and go to bed. I am getting very bad-tempered - impatient, frustrated, resentful - and it must be a lot to do with tiredness. I just wish there was more time to get everything done that I want to do, but then there never is enough time - nor money - for absolutely everything. At least I'm planning on living to 100, so I shall do my extra degree in French and Italian joint honours some day: I should still get 30-odd years post-retirement. Roll on the days when I get a new job paying a huge amount and whereby I only need to work a few hours a week. Everybody's dream!
BUT joy of joys (although doubtless a one-off), last night he slept from 8.30pm to 4.30am. OK, it would have been better if it had been 10.30pm to 6.30am but he seems to have established a bedtime for himself so I'm happy to go with the bedtime for now as he's bound to start sleeping through the night sooner or later, and he only needs to sleep for a couple more hours to be there. I'm sure tonight will be a totally different kettle of fish but it was nice to have unbroken sleep for as long as I did, and it was a pleasant surprise to look at the clock and find that it was getting on for morning rather than only just past midnight.
The weather has been most peculiar this week. On Wednesday we had every type of weather except hail or thunderstorms; yesterday we had every type of weather except snow or thunderstorms; today we've had every type of weather except hail or thunderstorms again and the sleety snow which fell early this evening even made a damp whiteish layer on the ground for a while. Every day I've thought that the children and I would 'walk home from school' (really from the Lane End pub) or go for a walk at Talkin Tarn, but the Baby and the weather between them have conspired against us. We also intended to go to the after-school service which the local church has started holding each Tuesday, but the Baby was too unsettled. Older Son was really upset to miss out on the pancakes.....
Yesterday having had an afternoon which alternated bright sunlight with pouring rain, I decided we'd go to buy Daughter some new shoes after school as her other pair has completely disappeared so her footwear for school has been quite odd (she hasn't yet gone in or come home in slippers). A trip to Off the Wall became necessary first as the Baby wanted some milk, and it was an excuse to get someone else to do the cooking and clearing up for the children's tea rather than my trying to get them some tea and feed the Baby at the same time (impossible: something has to give and it's normally their tea, as I can't stand leaving the Baby crying. It's nothing to do with discipline or the Baby having to learn or the fact that you should pick babies who are crying up because they generally only cry for a reason, even if it's boredom: it's because I can't stand the din. Daughter's piercing loud cry as a baby was enough to make me want to do something quite drastic (thank goodness I never did and she is still here and well today) - the Baby is, luckily, somewhat quieter but I'd still rather he didn't cry).
So after their tea we headed to Hamiltons, the shoe shop (which I have to recommend to anyone with children reading this as they really do take care over measuring the children's feet and making sure they have correctly fitted shoes). However having satisfactorily come away with a pair of purple shoes with flowers on and bright pink wellies with purple soles, both purchased at a reduced price, the children proceeded to squabble and the Baby - who by now was completely over-tired - started crying again. I decided we'd go out in the car on a magical mystery tour, and having mentioned the ford, which got the approval of both children, then had in the back of my mind that maybe we could go up to Bewcastle, in the real heart of Border Reivers country.
The ford was running quite high so we had a big debate about whether we'd get through or not and whether we should, both children (the Baby was by now, mercifully, asleep) insisting that we should risk it. In fact it really was quite high - though not dangerously so - as the outside-air-temperature sensors started playing up after we'd gone through and for a while I got some weird readings. We headed up a road which went through Askerton where we saw some llamas or alpacas (I wasn't sure which they were but the children were insistent they were one or another because of the length of their necks, and I'm sure they know) and then to Bewcastle. By now the relatively bare, rolling countryside was bathed in golden evening sunshine as if we were just getting to the end of the most glorious spring day, and the children were happily on the look-out for a haunted house. We went through some beautiful but remote places - such as, on the way back, Kirkcambeck - with some attractive old properties, but a sense of realism reminded me how cut off this area could get in snow in the winter. I think I've been watching too much daytime TV - Homes under the Hammer, Escape to the Country, Wreck or Ready - as I keep wanting to move house. The trouble is I'd need a considerably larger budget than we could feasibly garner at present.
Today the Baby and I met up with Running Friend P., who hadn't seen him since he was a couple of days old, saw some people at my former office, and then went to Keswick for lunch with the friend who adopted a girl this time last year. The daughter is about a year older than mine, and the friend had brought some of the clothes she had grown out of for mine. When we got home this evening there were lots of excited exclamations as each item of clothing was taken out of the bag and admired. Daughter's summer wardrobe is sorted! I'm sure there are some clothes in her wardrobe that she has hardly ever worn, and some that she will never wear: she has far more clothes than I have.
The Baby also has lots of clothes, and having sorted out the 3-6 month clothes for him (he's been eating so much he's already in the smaller end of size 3-6 month clothes now, having mostly grown out of 0-3 months) I realised that all the ones we'd been passed on from the little boy down the road are actually not needed, as we've been given so many. We've had two more parcels this week, one with a pair of 'tigger' slippers for him which are dead cute (but fall off rather easily, unfortunately).
I was going to write my Opera Programme this evening and I really ought to do some singing practice, but despite the not-too-bad night last night the fact remains that being awake at 4.30 a.m. for an hour is not a normal part of an 8-hour sleep, and I was awoken again by Husband's alarm going at 6.30, so I think I shall do the Baby's bottles and hang up the washing and go to bed. I am getting very bad-tempered - impatient, frustrated, resentful - and it must be a lot to do with tiredness. I just wish there was more time to get everything done that I want to do, but then there never is enough time - nor money - for absolutely everything. At least I'm planning on living to 100, so I shall do my extra degree in French and Italian joint honours some day: I should still get 30-odd years post-retirement. Roll on the days when I get a new job paying a huge amount and whereby I only need to work a few hours a week. Everybody's dream!
Monday, 7 March 2011
FRIENDS AND ACQUAINTANCES
Two glasses of red wine and I can hardly keep my eyes open....
The last few days have been particularly positive in terms of people. Ex-work-friend L. and I had a walk in Keswick last week, as well as coffee in Booths beforehand and then lunch in somewhere called the Square Orange or something similar. The Baby even gave her one of his smiles just as we were about to leave, which I was particularly pleased about. A couple of days later after she'd read my Grumpy Cow blog post I got a really supportive and understanding email from her, and also from ex-work-friend A. How on earth can anyone be down in the dumps for long when there are people who care about you and are supportive of you out there? Surely life must be about the people you meet along the way, not about how much you've earned or how high up the career ladder you have climbed. And being unemployed and then on maternity allowance has made me realise how much I don't need to buy (though I'd still like a decent off-road 3-wheeler buggy, and have to pay for my piano repair. I was rather relying on the money from Woman but they really do seem to be the most dilatory and disorganised publication in the world).
I also met a kindred-spirit-Mum at Baby Massage. It turned out that her two other children are at the same school as mine, and we had her girl to play with my girl on Friday after school. It was wildly exciting for both of them and chaotic for us, but it was great that they got on so well. Older Son meanwhile had his Very Best Friend from School to tea, and they spent most of their time on the X-box: I wasn't a very good mother, leaving them just to get on with it, but they were happy, quiet and out of the way - at least until Daughter and her new friend went and turned the X-Box off in the middle of a game.
I saw Kindred Spirit Mum again at Baby Massage today and afterwards we went for a walk round Talkin Tarn. It was a beautiful day but also she lived in Blackheath for a while, and so did I years ago, so we were able to compare London notes. She's only moved up here recently and I think has some worries about whether it's the right move. I recommended Wife in the North to her (which besides being a book is still also a blog, http://www.wifeinthenorth.com/). Unfortunately I can't remember what I've done with the copy I was given.....
Baby Massage was also a success today in that the Baby had had a feed earlier and therefore was awake but happy and so experienced the entire massage, unlike last week when he only got a short bit on his back with his clothes on, at the end, or the first week when he got the beginnings and endings of leg massages for the same reason. Today he seemed to quite enjoy it and was certainly relaxed afterwards: rather than being his usual wriggly noisy self he just fell asleep.
On Saturday I had a rehearsal with the accompanist for Carlisle Festival. He is an incredibly accomplished pianist - he used to be a repetiteur for English National Opera - so not only could he accompany well but he also sings and is used to singers, so helped with some of the aspects of the singing. His room had a wooden floor which I think really helped the acoustics: I felt as if I sang Porgi Amor better than I've ever sung it. Fingers crossed for the Festival!
On Friday I had seen a singer friend and her Mum, which was also great. The Baby had, unfortunately, slept throughout, but we were able to talk singing and music to our heart's content. They're organising a concert for mid-April and have asked me to sing in two trios, so I'm hoping I'll be able to. Husband certainly has no objections. Wandering around the shops afterwards I bumped into several more people I know from choir: and then at the Lanercost Festival Chorus rehearsal yesterday lots of other people were asking how the Baby was and how I was. I was pleased with myself for cycling there and back, and especially for cycling up the pretty steep hill from Lanercost back to Brampton. It was jolly cold, even at 4.30pm, so I didn't even work up a sweat!
One of the Mums at school and I were comparing notes on how important exercise is and how good it makes you feel, both physically and emotionally. How can people bear not to be fit and healthy? It's sometimes really difficult to fit in, and I'm not sure I'd go with her suggestion of cycling with the Baby in a trolley on the back (I think I'm just a bit too worried about the speeding idiots on the road), but I definitely feel better when I can exercise most days: even if it's just getting around the Tarn in the sunshine like today. After all, that's what living in Cumbria is about. Yes, careers come to a fairly grinding halt (or at least take a bit of a backwards step), but what's better than taking your children for a walk along the ridge with Scotland to your left and woods laden with snowdrops and beech-lined rides to your right?
The last few days have been particularly positive in terms of people. Ex-work-friend L. and I had a walk in Keswick last week, as well as coffee in Booths beforehand and then lunch in somewhere called the Square Orange or something similar. The Baby even gave her one of his smiles just as we were about to leave, which I was particularly pleased about. A couple of days later after she'd read my Grumpy Cow blog post I got a really supportive and understanding email from her, and also from ex-work-friend A. How on earth can anyone be down in the dumps for long when there are people who care about you and are supportive of you out there? Surely life must be about the people you meet along the way, not about how much you've earned or how high up the career ladder you have climbed. And being unemployed and then on maternity allowance has made me realise how much I don't need to buy (though I'd still like a decent off-road 3-wheeler buggy, and have to pay for my piano repair. I was rather relying on the money from Woman but they really do seem to be the most dilatory and disorganised publication in the world).
I also met a kindred-spirit-Mum at Baby Massage. It turned out that her two other children are at the same school as mine, and we had her girl to play with my girl on Friday after school. It was wildly exciting for both of them and chaotic for us, but it was great that they got on so well. Older Son meanwhile had his Very Best Friend from School to tea, and they spent most of their time on the X-box: I wasn't a very good mother, leaving them just to get on with it, but they were happy, quiet and out of the way - at least until Daughter and her new friend went and turned the X-Box off in the middle of a game.
I saw Kindred Spirit Mum again at Baby Massage today and afterwards we went for a walk round Talkin Tarn. It was a beautiful day but also she lived in Blackheath for a while, and so did I years ago, so we were able to compare London notes. She's only moved up here recently and I think has some worries about whether it's the right move. I recommended Wife in the North to her (which besides being a book is still also a blog, http://www.wifeinthenorth.com/). Unfortunately I can't remember what I've done with the copy I was given.....
Baby Massage was also a success today in that the Baby had had a feed earlier and therefore was awake but happy and so experienced the entire massage, unlike last week when he only got a short bit on his back with his clothes on, at the end, or the first week when he got the beginnings and endings of leg massages for the same reason. Today he seemed to quite enjoy it and was certainly relaxed afterwards: rather than being his usual wriggly noisy self he just fell asleep.
On Saturday I had a rehearsal with the accompanist for Carlisle Festival. He is an incredibly accomplished pianist - he used to be a repetiteur for English National Opera - so not only could he accompany well but he also sings and is used to singers, so helped with some of the aspects of the singing. His room had a wooden floor which I think really helped the acoustics: I felt as if I sang Porgi Amor better than I've ever sung it. Fingers crossed for the Festival!
On Friday I had seen a singer friend and her Mum, which was also great. The Baby had, unfortunately, slept throughout, but we were able to talk singing and music to our heart's content. They're organising a concert for mid-April and have asked me to sing in two trios, so I'm hoping I'll be able to. Husband certainly has no objections. Wandering around the shops afterwards I bumped into several more people I know from choir: and then at the Lanercost Festival Chorus rehearsal yesterday lots of other people were asking how the Baby was and how I was. I was pleased with myself for cycling there and back, and especially for cycling up the pretty steep hill from Lanercost back to Brampton. It was jolly cold, even at 4.30pm, so I didn't even work up a sweat!
One of the Mums at school and I were comparing notes on how important exercise is and how good it makes you feel, both physically and emotionally. How can people bear not to be fit and healthy? It's sometimes really difficult to fit in, and I'm not sure I'd go with her suggestion of cycling with the Baby in a trolley on the back (I think I'm just a bit too worried about the speeding idiots on the road), but I definitely feel better when I can exercise most days: even if it's just getting around the Tarn in the sunshine like today. After all, that's what living in Cumbria is about. Yes, careers come to a fairly grinding halt (or at least take a bit of a backwards step), but what's better than taking your children for a walk along the ridge with Scotland to your left and woods laden with snowdrops and beech-lined rides to your right?
Thursday, 3 March 2011
GRUMPY COW
I once bought some pyjamas which were called 'Grumpy Cow' or something: I gave a pair to my sister, whose boyfriend thought they were very appropriate.
This morning it was me who was grumpy. The Baby had woken me up at 3.45 a.m. (which was good going from 8p.m. last night) but then wanted to stay awake, and refused to go back to sleep in his cot. Instead I ended up with him sleeping on his tummy on me, which seems to be the preferred position when he's very snuffly. The problem is, of course, that I don't then sleep properly as I'm so afraid he's going to roll off or get his nose stuck and not be able to breathe, or something similar. Oh well: I guess he'll grow out of this snuffliness and in less than 4 months' time he'll be in his own room anyway.
So I was grumpy. I was annoyed with the Baby for being noisy and not settling back to sleep: I was annoyed with Husband for not bringing me up a cup of coffee and for going on about wanting to go walking with some friends the week that we'd talked about going to one of my friend's 50th parties and then to Bristol to see friends and my family. The thought of long trips with the three children and without him is not an appealing one. He then was talking about 'when' he works in Aberdeen (i.e. how the older two will have to be good at getting up and ready in the mornings), and how my giving him a lift to work is a bit silly. I pointed out to him that if he leaves early for work and gets back late because of work and whatever fitness thing he's done, that it's a long day for me (though I expressed it in a rather more grumpy fashion). But - and I know this is partly the tiredness talking - how come Men always get to do what They want? How come they think about themselves first and everyone else second? If I had a long day at work I would probably miss doing my training because I'd feel that I had to get home to see everyone, and then I'd be cross because I'd be feeling unfit.
Which of course, I am at the moment, and with a sticking out stomach still as well, although there are signs that I am slowly beginning to lose the final stone. Fingers crossed. Being over weight and having little money are two conditions which wind me up considerably.
In case the message hasn't yet got across, I was not in a good mood. When I dropped the children off the Reception class teacher, who is lovely, asked how I was: I said I was grumpy and she gave me a hug. That brightened the day a little. Then driving home from dropping husband off, the early morning fog lifted on the brow of the hill just before I descended down to our road, and the sun came out: so that made me feel better still. By the time I'd taken the Baby to the Doctors for his first lot of immunisations (he cried real tears despite the fact that his legs are now fat enough that you'd think he wouldn't feel a thing) and had a chat with a very nice 6'3" mother of two who I met there, and I'd then gone to Off the Wall for a take away coffee and had a chat there, and then had a brief chat in Cranstons as the lady who served me recognised the Baby from when Husband takes him in, I felt back to normal and ready to tackle the world again. Unfortunately I didn't have time to do anything further on my opera programme today, but at least I've started it. 'Working' with a baby at home is not easy; particularly not when it's one who wants to feed every 2 - 3 hours.
However we've had two very pleasant days which have been more-or-less just at home. I've watched Bargain Hunt twice, Cash in the Attic once, and a couple of home-buying/moving programmes. I do wish I could get some TV presenting work.... In addition I should be rejoicing that both children got good reports from their teachers at parents' evening: Daughter was described as 'exceptional' and Older Son is just above where he ought to be for writing and well above for Reading and Numeracy. The Baby has a bit to live up to: though he also shows signs of being a cheeky monkey, if his smile is anything to go by.
The Baby's bottles need filling with cooled boiled water and then it's bed for me. Husband has at least begun our mammoth pile of ironing whilst watching TV (he probably won't do the whole lot but he's started I think). Goodness knows what sort of night I'll have as the Baby has slept most of the day as an after-effect of the jabs. But only tonight and then it's the weekend and maybe Husband will do a night with the Baby so I can get an uninterrupted night's sleep. Good night!
This morning it was me who was grumpy. The Baby had woken me up at 3.45 a.m. (which was good going from 8p.m. last night) but then wanted to stay awake, and refused to go back to sleep in his cot. Instead I ended up with him sleeping on his tummy on me, which seems to be the preferred position when he's very snuffly. The problem is, of course, that I don't then sleep properly as I'm so afraid he's going to roll off or get his nose stuck and not be able to breathe, or something similar. Oh well: I guess he'll grow out of this snuffliness and in less than 4 months' time he'll be in his own room anyway.
So I was grumpy. I was annoyed with the Baby for being noisy and not settling back to sleep: I was annoyed with Husband for not bringing me up a cup of coffee and for going on about wanting to go walking with some friends the week that we'd talked about going to one of my friend's 50th parties and then to Bristol to see friends and my family. The thought of long trips with the three children and without him is not an appealing one. He then was talking about 'when' he works in Aberdeen (i.e. how the older two will have to be good at getting up and ready in the mornings), and how my giving him a lift to work is a bit silly. I pointed out to him that if he leaves early for work and gets back late because of work and whatever fitness thing he's done, that it's a long day for me (though I expressed it in a rather more grumpy fashion). But - and I know this is partly the tiredness talking - how come Men always get to do what They want? How come they think about themselves first and everyone else second? If I had a long day at work I would probably miss doing my training because I'd feel that I had to get home to see everyone, and then I'd be cross because I'd be feeling unfit.
Which of course, I am at the moment, and with a sticking out stomach still as well, although there are signs that I am slowly beginning to lose the final stone. Fingers crossed. Being over weight and having little money are two conditions which wind me up considerably.
In case the message hasn't yet got across, I was not in a good mood. When I dropped the children off the Reception class teacher, who is lovely, asked how I was: I said I was grumpy and she gave me a hug. That brightened the day a little. Then driving home from dropping husband off, the early morning fog lifted on the brow of the hill just before I descended down to our road, and the sun came out: so that made me feel better still. By the time I'd taken the Baby to the Doctors for his first lot of immunisations (he cried real tears despite the fact that his legs are now fat enough that you'd think he wouldn't feel a thing) and had a chat with a very nice 6'3" mother of two who I met there, and I'd then gone to Off the Wall for a take away coffee and had a chat there, and then had a brief chat in Cranstons as the lady who served me recognised the Baby from when Husband takes him in, I felt back to normal and ready to tackle the world again. Unfortunately I didn't have time to do anything further on my opera programme today, but at least I've started it. 'Working' with a baby at home is not easy; particularly not when it's one who wants to feed every 2 - 3 hours.
However we've had two very pleasant days which have been more-or-less just at home. I've watched Bargain Hunt twice, Cash in the Attic once, and a couple of home-buying/moving programmes. I do wish I could get some TV presenting work.... In addition I should be rejoicing that both children got good reports from their teachers at parents' evening: Daughter was described as 'exceptional' and Older Son is just above where he ought to be for writing and well above for Reading and Numeracy. The Baby has a bit to live up to: though he also shows signs of being a cheeky monkey, if his smile is anything to go by.
The Baby's bottles need filling with cooled boiled water and then it's bed for me. Husband has at least begun our mammoth pile of ironing whilst watching TV (he probably won't do the whole lot but he's started I think). Goodness knows what sort of night I'll have as the Baby has slept most of the day as an after-effect of the jabs. But only tonight and then it's the weekend and maybe Husband will do a night with the Baby so I can get an uninterrupted night's sleep. Good night!
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