Hooray! I can access my blog again! It had gone through a phase of not asking me for my password, so then one day when it did ask me I had forgotten - only, once I had changed the password, not to let me in but just to go round in a loop and back to the sign in screen. I had visions of all my hard work (ha!) over the last year+ just vanishing into virtual air (or even indeed into the real air). But here I am.
I had a Board meeting this evening and came in to find all the children tucked up snugly in bed and asleep and Husband watching TV. The fact that the children were in bed asleep was Very Good. What was not so impressive were the dirty (and in some cases clean) clothes strewn around the floors and the kitchen still in a mess: having said that, I was happy to get on with that as Husband said he'd do the ironing. So I got on with the Baby's bottles, hanging up the washing and putting the next load on, sorting out which clothes were dry... etc. Husband asked why I didn't go and watch TV with him (it was that interesting series about the human body) and my reply was that I had too much I wanted to get done before I went to bed. He also said he'd go up into the loft to get a mouse costume down for Daughter to wear to school tomorrow....
About 20 minutes later I had finished my jobs and wondered why I hadn't heard him go up into the loft. I approached the TV room and noticed that the Human Body programme had finished. I then noticed that Husband was sound asleep, fully dressed, on the sofa. Hey ho! He had been complaining that his eyes felt itchy and that he felt as if he was going down with a cold, but a woman would have carried on and done all her tasks anyway.... wouldn't she? I remember the time I had chicken pox and still had the children and my parents to look after...
It's not a major complaint but it would be interesting to hear other people's views on the subject. I do feel that men don't really pull their weight on the household front, sometimes just because they don't notice and/or don't care.
What I have found this week is that I haven't done half the things I meant to, principally in terms of trying to drum up some work. The Baby rolled over on to his front today (at one day short of 21 weeks - the others were 12 weeks and 17 weeks when they did so, so he's slow compared with them but also been sitting in a chair more than they did I think). That was a very exciting first and I'm now just waiting for him to repeat it, but the downside of his being more active and alert is of course that I end up playing with him more. I am enjoying him so much though, and I don't want to miss out on anything. I've also found emotionally this time that I don't really want to hand him over to anyone else to look after, so I really do need to drum up some of that freelance work. Maybe I'd cope with one day in nursery if I could get a job which paid me incredibly well for one day per week's work! Perhaps I could even commute to London one day a week... though of course the cost of travelling down there would need to be covered as well, so I'd probably want to earn about £400 for that day's work. Not far off what some consultants earn but they generally work full-time.
We definitely cannot afford any more children, even if we thought it was worth taking the risks of having more. I was therefore a little concerned when, having gone for a coil fitting the other day, I found that even the expert at the Family Planning Clinic said she couldn't get one in. So it's back to the pill - and her advice was that I should stay on it until I'm 55 by which time I 'should' have gone through the menopause, even if I haven't been aware of doing so. Great! No guarantee that I will have done and the last thing I want is a baby when I'm aged 55. A 20-year old at 69/70 is one thing as he'll virtually be a grown-up, but a 15/16 year old would be awful. So I shall pester the Doctors when I'm about 53 to do one of those hormone test things they can do, and to repeat it each year until they can be certain I'm no longer fertile. I shouldn't complain as many women would love to be so easily fertile so old, but it's a bit of a mixed blessing.
Not that I would be without no.3 for the world. He's such a gorgeous and giggly baby. I was standing on the doorstep talking to one of Older Son's friend's Mums yesterday and the Baby just started giggling: it got us both laughing, it was so infectious. He was then doing the same with my French teacher this morning during my lesson. We saw Godmother L. on Sunday - we went to Dalemain - and she is definitely smitten. She's going to make an excellent godparent because she loves him so much - and also because she's the type of person who makes the effort to stay in touch with people.
Dalemain was interesting not only for itself but for what it made me think about stately homes generally. For years now I've thought that National Trust properties all get a bit boring after a while, unless they have something special about them (for example, Cragside in Northumberland was fascinating; Lanhydrock in Cornwall has the most fantastic gardens and grounds). I've now come to the same conclusion about all stately homes. Very often you see so little of them anyway, and at Dalemain the rooms were a bit small and pokey by stately home standard and not really desperately interesting. The garden was quite pleasant but some of it wasn't accessible with the buggy. Still, at least I've been there now. It makes me question whether I really want to go to Hutton in the Forest - will it be that different? I think I'd probably only go to one of these places again if there was some sort of event on that I wanted to see.
I must go as the normally happy Baby is crying: he seems a bit snuffly. Do you think he's so happy because I was generally very happy and relaxed in my pregnancy and still am now, despite the lack of dosh? Food for thought. Good Night!
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