A BAD MOTHER

I came to the conclusion yesterday that I was possibly the world's worst mother.

That's probably rather an exaggeration, but what kind of a mother lets her 4-year old daugher sit in front of an entire 'Roobarb and Custard' DVD because she's (the mother) got too absorbed in the gardening?

I've never considered myself a gardener, and still don't, but there's something addictive about clearing an area of weeds, bushes you don't want, and so forth, then digging over the soil, putting some extra soil and/or compost down, and then.... planting new plants!  I have started the beginning of my 'bee' garden just outside the TV room window (so I was at least near my daughter) with 8 different types of heather, an orchid (just because I liked the look of it) and two things which I think are carnations or something: they were pretty anyway, and Daughter agreed with me - she would - that we should get the pink ones.

Husband will doubtless be somewhat put out that I didn't write job letters and also I spent money at Houghton Garden Centre when I shouldn't really have done.  I checked my bank account this morning and my redundancy payment has gone through: I've also finally got around to starting the signing on process.  Nowadays you can sign on online: I now await a phone call to arrange a 'job seeker's interview'.  Quite a change from last time I signed on, 20 years ago.

The good news is that I have finally officially started job seeking.  I have written 5 individual letters this morning to various people in an attempt to entice them into paying me to do some work for them: I also started looking up TEFL courses but only got as far as registering with the British Council website and checking an email for which sort of course I would be best doing.

I have to say I feel better for having written some letters, but at the same time I am also rather enjoying my time 'resting'.  The weather's been lovely for gardening and if it rains any time soon I'm hoping to get my painting finished: there's something very satisfying for me in having everywhere a bit tidier than if I was rushing around at work, choir, singing, meetings and so forth without time to do the washing (for example).  I really hate it when the washing basket starts overflowing and I end up doing 4 or 5 loads in one day.  Recently it's even got dry outside in a few hours!

However I know that I won't like not having any income once I've run out of money, and I'm also concious that our back fence is collapsing more and more: and of course the fence panels I particularly like seem to be the most expensive I could have chosen.  Quel surprise.

But that reminds me that I could use two of the bits of wood as battens for my trellis for the rose I want to train up our rear wall, to make the house look prettier from the back....  Off out to the garden!