I was very excited when I updated my blog last time to see that I had a comment on a recent post: it's so nice getting some feedback. I really appreciate it when friends tell me they have kept up with me via my blog as well: I don't feel as if I'm writing in a vacuum where my words all fall into a virtual void. Whilst it's relatively easy, given the time, to fill a blank computer screen with words, I don't really like doing it just for the sake of it: I guess I'm too much of a performer not to want an audience.
Another highlight this week - besides a £2 voucher for Gu or Fru puddings, which are scrummy if anybody has not yet tried them (http://www.frupuds.com/ or http://www.gupuds.com/) - was that I have now been invited to go along to Radio Cumbria again to talk about music, including choosing 3 pieces I particularly like, for a late night music show. I'm going there tomorrow morning and really excited about it: I know to anyone who works in the media it's trivial and day-to-day but for me it's really exciting, even if Radio Cumbria has very few listeners: I imagine they have even fewer late at night!
On the subject of music, I should really be making sure that the kids are in bed and I should then do some singing practice, but I wanted to write a couple of speculative job letters and also I had originally intended to write my blog every day this week. Perhaps I shall be briefer by writing up several days in one go.
Yesterday was our Big Trip Out: the children and I went with Special Friend M. and her son to Glasgow Science Centre (http://www.glasgowsciencecentre.com/). The reviews on the internet had given it a fairly bad press, although it did at least sound more suitable for our children's age group (4 and 6) than for older children. We thought it was fab. The children loved it, particularly my Son, who gave his complete concentration to the Science Show in the afternoon, and who didn't want to leave: I've promised him I'll take him back there on his own sometime as I think he and I would both get even more out of it if we could go round together and talk about the various exhibits. A whole range of scientific knowledge was explored: I was particularly fascinated by the model of the human body which demonstrated how approximately 20% of our bodies can be made from protheses if necessary: goodness me, was the model in a bad way (artificial hip joints; knees; legs; plates in arms; false breasts; earing implant; skin graft; false eye........ etc.!). The only downside to a successful day was trying to find our way back to the M8, which didn't appear to be signposted.
Today the children and I then went to Tullie House Museum in Carlisle for a 'Norman' afternoon and came home with coloured-in pictures, a Norman coin and cardboard swords: Daughter's being particularly attractive and glittery. They were intrigued by the chain mail and helmets and insisted on trying them on, despite the fact that the armour is so heavy. I raised the issue in 'Little Cumbria' (or at least, I will tomorrow on air) as to whether the children are going to have overdosed on history by the time they're teenagers: I really hope not. Son at the moment is showing such a lovely, lively curiosity and interest in all sorts of things: I just wish I could answer his questions better. I've suggested he should start writing them down so we can look up answers on the internet, as I'm all too conscious that my answers are not always very accurate nor even satisfactory, and some of the things he asks about are things I'd like to know more about myself. There was a question about satellites in space this morning on the way in to Carlisle, and I felt rather ignorant and dissatisfied that I couldn't give him a more detailed answer.
Meanwhile I continue to grow and my ligaments continue suddenly to ache at unexpected times: we were in Early Learning Centre this afternoon and I twisted or bent down to get something and got a twinge. Nothing serious but it's making me aware of my body changing to accommodate the baby. I feel so heavy and unfit: I'm sometimes breathless walking up our stairs at home, which is pathetic! However I'm off to do a decent walk with a friend early tomorrow evening (I hope it doesn't absolutely tip down with rain: the forecast for this week was appalling but in fact it's not been bad, with just the odd heavy downpour now and again) and am wondering whether to offer to join an ex-cancer sufferer for the first few miles of a 100-mile bike ride he's doing: my worry being that my stomach won't fit over the cross-bar and also that I'll be far too slow for him!
I continue to be surprised that I'm pregnant, and also feel a mixture of guilt, stupidity and embarrasment: guilt that I have been so incredibly lucky when I know so many women younger than me who have not been; stupidity that I could assume that I would not get pregnant. In relation to stupidity however, my surprise is of course part of the same equation: I am still genuinely surprised that I am as fertile as I have proved to be, and I always thought I'd been incredibly lucky to have my first two children. I suppose I felt in some way that they were a lucky fluke, two miracles, that would not, or could not, happen again. The embarrasment is because of my age: however much people tell me I don't look my age, the vast majority of women still have their children in their 20s and 30s. Somehow it didn't matter when I was 42 and 44: now I'm more aware of it as being a bit unusual. Oh well - it must be even wierder for women in their 50s!
A friend said she liked hearing about the Little Guy and his development but she hoped that I was looking after myself as well. Yes, I am: as much as I can do with two energetic children to chase after and attempt to control to an extent (or at least, to keep out of danger). Sometimes I've put my feet up and read: I'm eating a huge amount (probably too much) and I am doing far too little exercise. In fact I'm looking forward to the school term starting so I can maybe go for some walks, to aqua aerobics and swimming more often. On the other hand I'm on my feet a lot rather than sitting in a car and at a desk, so overall I'm probably more active than in my other pregnancies.
Fingers crossed it all continues well: I am generally enjoying life (though to earn some more money and not to have to sign on would be good) and I've become rather attached to the Little Guy. I don't deserve a third healthy child, but my prayers are that he will be: and meanwhile I shall do what I can to try to ensure that he is.
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