BAD DREAMS

I awoke this morning from a bad dream in which Husband had said he was going to Dundee with another woman.  As he later pointed out when I told him about the dream, if he had been going to elope he would have chosen somewhere far more romantic and attractive (apologies to people of Dundee.  It's improved a lot in recent years but it's still not exactly the place of choice for a romantic get-away).

However the dream left a bad feeling with me for a little while and is not the first time I've dreamt of Husband having a dalliance with another woman: perhaps having been pregnant (and looking like Mr Greedy) and now not having lost all my baby weight - there's about another stone to lose - I'm feeling somewhat insecure about my looks and attractiveness to him, not that he's given me any indications that way whatsoever.  In fact, since I've had the baby he's been very loving and I feel that he's delighted with his new baby son: we've both fallen headlong in love with the baby, just in case I hadn't mentioned that previously.

Baby and I had our 6-week check yesterday and all was well: the Dr. commented how healthy the baby was and also that he's a good-looking baby.  The baby fed almost constantly yesterday however (I am so glad I wasn't breastfeeding), even at the Drs., and then was incredibly snuffly in the night.  By 4.30a.m. I was worried about his breathing and so let him sleep propped up against me, which seemed to help: he slept until getting on for 8.30a.m.!  He's beginning to take less milk at 4.30a.m./5a.m. which I hope is a sign that's he's going to start to sleep through from his 2a.m.ish feed until 7a.m.ish: though perhaps two nights is not the best evidence for that (more my being wildly optimistic).

We are in the phase of 'it gets worse before it gets better', which fortunately I had remembered and was mentally prepared for, even if feeling tired just is feeling tired, whether or not you're prepared for it.  I've started getting headaches the last couple of days as well, which is a sure sign of being tired.  At least they haven't yet developed into migraines, which they did with Daughter: due, I am sure, to the sheer volume and timbre of her crying: one of those cries which went on and on and managed to pierce you to the core and make you feel really wound-up.  Baby is pathetic compared with her and far more easy to settle, although he can get Very Cross when he's hungry and he doesn't get his milk soon enough.

Daughter is waiting for me to go to read her a bedtime story: in fact she has just come to say 'Mummy get on with it' so I had better do as bidden.  The Alto aria 'He was rejected' from Handel's Messiah is currently playing on Classic FM: lovely: and the baby is being given yet another bottle by his father!