POO AND PERFORMING

Taking a baby to the Doctors is rather like taking a car to the garage: when you get there the problem has resolved itself and you feel like a complete idiot in front of the expert.

The Baby's poos are not what they once were, but he had just had milk and a clean nappy at the Doctors this afternoon when I went to see them about his bottom, and as luck would have the poo he had produced had been the nearest to how they used to be in over a week.  It wasn't copious but it was greenish and looked like poo.  Anyhow enough on poo: on to performing.

I was interviewed for an article for the Telegraph Sunday magazine today: far more my cup of tea than Woman (though less lucrative).  Last night and this morning I was thinking how writing a blog and being interviewed for magazines or on radio (or even TV, not that I've scaled those heights yet) is rather like performing, and was then thinking how some of us just like to lay our souls bare.  Interestingly there was an article in Psychologies magazine last month where writers of autobiographical works were talking about this, amongst other things: and about how much you reveal or don't about yourself.  I think I tend to be fairly honest except when I have a poor opinion about somebody who may read my blog and take exception to it!  Friends who know me well will have some idea about who I may mean.

But I still question why some of us wish to perform and to lay our souls bare - to make ourselves vulnerable to criticism?  Some only do so via writing, which provides a certain barrier in that it doesn't have to be face-to-face; some of us also do presentations and live performances.  Does it stem from a lack of self-confidence which results in attention-seeking?  Once upon a time I would have said that was very true of me: now I'm not so sure as one thing I felt after today's interview was that nowadays I'm relatively confident.  I do tend to apologise to people if I fear that I may appear big-headed, as I don't want to come across as a self-satisfied p***k, but there are certain things I feel very proud of having done.  That includes being able to conceive a 3rd child naturally in my late 40s.

The journalist asked if I wanted to get back into triathlon and how I might feel at 70.  I should have said, though I forgot to, that I fully intend still to be competing in triathlons at 70, even if I'm somewhat slower!  I guess the only thing that will stop me will be if I'm still competitive by nature and if I get too upset at being slow.  I wonder if the children, at 20, 25 and 27, will be competing with me.....