ACHIEVEMENTS

I always used to turn my nose up at mothers who didn't work, especially the type who drive around in huge four by fours and to all appearances appear to do little other than lunch.

I'm now beginning to reassess my views.  For a start, I enjoy being at home with the Baby, and I've always felt that about the 6 month age is when babies start to get really interesting (and which is the age at which my other two both were when I went back to work, full-time).  And whilst the older children are sometimes hideous after school (bickering, tired and tiring, naughty...) I feel far more part of the school because I'm able to be there to fetch them and to speak to other parents, and I know they appreciate not having to go to after school club.  It also means, money permitting, that I can take them to do after school activities: we currently go to the after school church service most Wednesdays, have gone to orienteering, and are about to start going to swimming lessons.  We can also fit in things like dental appointments a little more easily than we might have otherwise done.

Bristol Friend S. has always felt that it was a good thing to be there for one's children, but she has also always been busy doing other things as well. She didn't have brand new shiny company cars and a stunning modern kitchen, but actually - who needs them?  I now have a better understanding, I think, of why - I believe - she basically enjoys her life.  I saw her today as she was up in the Lake District to do the Windermere (Great North) swim: she looked so well and I'm sure not getting too stressed about life helps.

I do sometimes wonder if I'm becoming workshy, except I've been doing plenty of things: for my choir's committee (minutes; press releases); for the Lanercost Festival Committee (press releases; a radio interview; maintaining and using a database; distributing leaflets); Carlisle Leisure Limited board (reviewing the maternity policy; helping with a lease termination) and also trying to develop some freelance work.  In fact I'm still optimistic, as I know I've written in previous blog posts, that the freelance work of various types is going to take off: I think it's one of those things which takes time to build up.  In other words I don't think I've been sitting around not using my brain, but I know I'm more relaxed and doubtless a better mother with happier children because of not going to an office every day  I do get cross with them when I'm trying to do something on the computer which I consider to be work and they're not going to bed or something similar, but I guess that's the complaint of anyone who works at home: other people not considering that you are actually working (and I do tend to think that even unpaid tasks are still a form of work).  And of course I do the bulk of the housework....

I still feel some part-time or freelance work which I can fit in around the children but which gives me a reasonable income, would be the perfect solution: I'm glad in fact that I don't have a husband who earns so much that I don't actually need to work.  I don't think nursery nor after school club is bad for children: in fact I think nursery is definitely a good influence and helps them socially.  But I definitely don't want to have to work full-time nor travel long distances, and having had a break from being someone else's employee I'm more inclined to work for myself than ever. 

A stockbroker I knew said, when I was pregnant with my first child, that she felt her children had been the greatest achievement of her life.  Certainly when I get up to the pearly gates I would far rather be able to say that I feel that I produced and brought up three decent people and that I did a variety of tasks and had some important hobbies, such as triathlon and singing, than for being a Chartered Surveyor to be the first thing that springs to mind.  I felt like that when I was single as well: being a Chartered Surveyor and working for X company was not the be-all and end-all of my life: my life outside work was what defined me as a person.  My aunt who died a couple of years ago was a role model for me for being single, having a fantastic and full social life with plenty of friends and interesting activities and holidays: not for being good at keeping accounts.

Not so long ago it looked as if I might get a brand new company car and a fur coat, and Husband and I were joking about how that would make me look good at school (there are a lot of yummy Mummys with posh cars); currently I turn up in a dirty old VW Passat with a broken window, jeans with holes in, clothes likely to have recent baby milk stains on, home-dyed hair.... and a big smile.  I am happy.

I'm also feeling better about my singing having had a particularly nice comment this week from someone who was described as a 'harsh critic', so that has boosted my confidence too.  Tomorrow I'm going in to Radio Cumbria to record the demo for my opera programme: that's incredibly exciting (though I'm a bit worried because I don't think I've got recordings of all the music I want to know, and I'm not sure whether or not I need them).

And after that we have Special Friend/Godmother M., Godfather C. and their son T. coming round for roast duck.  Yum!