My children have been driving me bonkers today. It's partly as they've not had enough exercise recently: they just think up more and more mischievious things to do; things which they've been told off about a zillion times. I can't believe I'm about to have a third - what madness!
At least after tomorrow I shall be able to begin to get my body back and be physically normal again - running, lifting things, twisting to see while driving, getting in and out of the bath, doing my boots up.... you get the picture... yes a bit of time is needed to get over the caesarean but I shan't feel I'm squashing the baby and won't be restricted by this lump in front of me but just by a flabby stomach (which I shall work on making unflabby).
Husband is also getting annoyed with the children, particularly as Daughter is still, now, at 8.35pm, not settled in bed. I thought maybe I was stressed about tomorrow but perhaps it's more that they're being a pain! Lots of long walks and bike rides and fresh air are definitely needed. I had hoped for at least half an hour of the four of us sitting together on the sofa watching something on TV and cuddling up, as it's the last time there will be only 4 of us... but the children started fighting and Husband was on the phone to his sister. In the end I had a cuddle with Son and read Horrid Henry to him (revolting child - Horrid Henry that is - and as one of my friends said, Perfect Peter is no better) while Daughter watched Charlie and Lola. I am now hoping for a few minutes' peace with Husband before I take my first antiacid drug at 10pm. I'm also hoping to feel some more movements from the baby as I always worry when I've yelled at the children: I can feel my stress levels shooting up.
It struck me at tea time that I can't remember the night before Daughter was born: I remember 3 nights before Son was born all too clearly (the first I was in hospital prior to being induced for the first time the next morning; the second I was in hospital in a lot of pain after a second lot of induction drugs, until I got pethadine - Husband had to sleep in a chair; and the third was after an evening of agony and when I ultimately, at about midnight, had my waters broken, an epidural put in, got put on a syntocynin drip and chatted about triathlon with the midwife whilst Husband slept on a mattress on the floor).
I so hope this baby will be OK: I'm so worried that I get so angry with the other two sometimes that it will have adversely affected the baby; that there's something the scans haven't picked up (especially as when I weighed myself today I had lost a pound in weight, which means I haven't put on any weight for a month or more - and Pregnant Friend C. said again the other day that I was looking smaller); that for some reason he'll be stillborn. Please God, no. We'll meet him tomorrow and find out. Meanwhile what I have done is the washing, the washing up, the hoovering, and taken down the christmas decorations. Will the house be as tidy when I come home from hospital?!
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