This blog really needs a new title. For anyone who's followed it from the beginning, you'll be aware that I thought rather than 'unemployed' I should have said 'resting'. I now think, due to the unforeseen new emphasis in my life, that it should say 'unemployed and pregnant' (except that maybe sounds rather pikey) or 'resting and pregnant' (except that they tell you to rest a lot when you're pregnant anyway...).
Today I had my second midwife's appointment. I ate some undercooked chips yesterday lunchtime and felt absolutely awful all afternoon and evening, so when the midwife said she'd try to listen to the baby's heartbeat I wasn't at all sure she'd hear anything. Which would have set me into a panic - she would have said it was a bit early anyway; I would have known that I'd heard both Son's and Daughter's heartbeats at about this stage, and would have been worrying for several weeks that I'd got food poisoning yesterday and that the baby had died.
I think in fact, that because I'm pregnant and feeling nauseous anyway, and my digestion seems to be working overtime, that my body just overreacted to the undercooked chips rather than that they were necessarily lethal.
The next worry and debate is, of course, Downs. The Midwife, lovely lady, didn't see why I should have to pay for the Nuchal Scan and blood test: and £210 is rather a lot to stump up. If I've understood things correctly they can do the blood test in Cumbria anyway. Whilst I was looking forward to a trip to Newcastle with Husband for a scan, followed possibly by a nice meal out, if the results are going to come back that I need an amniocentisis anyway then perhaps I should just go for that (Husband and I could go out for a meal anyway as we have babysitters sorted out). I said to Husband that perhaps there's a bit of me that doesn't really want to know for definite: on the other hand, thinking sensibly and practically, if it did turn out to be Downs then at least we could prepare for it. I think what we're both most concerned about is the effect it would have on Son and Daughter: on the other hand maybe it would make them nicer people in the long-term. Not that I'm particularly concerned that their characters are going to turn out to be rotten: Son in particular seems to have a lovely, kind and affectionate nature.
Lovely Midwife has arranged for me to go to see the Consultant at Cumbria Infirmary on Thursday so I can talk it through in more detail. The Consultant could then refer me for the Nuchal Scan - which would mean it was free, but last time I saw her she said she thinks I'll end up needing an Amnio as well (or CV sampling, but apparently an Amnio has a slightly lower risk of miscarriage. Not that I'm desperately worried about that - the statistical risk of Downs for my age is 1 in 16 whereas the risk of miscarriage is 1 in 100 or less. And I wonder if you're more likely to miscarry due to an amnio if in fact the baby does have something wrong?).
Fingers crossed about it all: this baby ('Little Guy') seems determined to beat the odds so far anyway. After all he (or she) is not even meant to be here at all, statistically!
Was speaking to a Doctor friend last night about it all. She said she felt she was far less likely to have a termination having already had children. I know exactly what she means: I felt Daughter move at about 17 weeks and it was that realisation which made me question the assumption which Husband and I had previously held that if we knew I was carrying a disabled baby we'd terminate. I don't think I could now: I don't think I could even give it up for adoption.
I've finally ordered some maternity clothes. I also told one of my choir friends today. She was highly delighted as it means she can start knitting. Apparently she does really wacky brightly coloured stuff for babies! It sounds ace: but please, no scratchy woolly vests....
Talking of which, and changing the subject, I need to go to get provisions to take to the choir party (and give the children some tea). I've finished the application for the waffly policy job and am being put forward by a Recruitment Agency for a Senior Estates Manager post. Meanwhile I keep looking at the Northumberland Estates post and wanting to apply - it really appeals as a job - but I'm not sure it's terribly practical. Husband has got excited about the idea of nursing as it looks as if nurses are in demand all over the world.
Things will sort themselves out and turn out for the best, one way or another.
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