BREASTFEEDING AND COWS; FERRETS; AND PROJECTILE WEE

I have been so absorbed by the baby that I completely omitted to mention that Harry the ferret sadly passed away last week sometime: an old life for a new perhaps.  He had some sort of fungal infection in his tail which wasn't responding to treatment and in fact the vets confirmed that the infection had spread.  Husband took him to the vets where Harry was given a sedative to make him sleepy, and then a dose of something which stopped his heart beating.  Apparently it was very peaceful: Husband came back saying he'd like to go that way if he could!

HARRY: R.I.P.

We knew Older Son would be upset: what I hadn't anticipated, nor, I think, had Husband, was how upset Daughter would be.  Husband told her while she was having her tea and the next thing I knew a bowlful of food had been left on the table and she was running to me in floods of tears.  It must have been big news at school as well as Mrs. Anaesthetist came to see me and to meet the baby yesterday, and told me that her daughter had also come home with the news.  Daughter made a 'ferret book' at school which had pictures depicting various events in Harry's life, including a final one of his spirit going up to ferret heaven.

Meanwhile I perservere with the breastfeeding with Baby Son, which seemed to be going all right: despite one night when I fed for either 2 and a half or 3 and a half hours on the trot.  Baby eventually fell asleep at 5.30a.m., only to wake again at 6.15a.m. - at which point I burst into tears and asked Husband to get a bottle.  I have come to the conclusion that hugely long feeds like that are counter-productive: the baby gets frazzled and tired and so do I, and he's then using up more calories feeding than growing.  I think the phrase 'the more you feed the more milk you produce' needs to be qualified as I think there's a law of diminishing returns after a certain point.  I felt an abject failure the next morning until whilst doing the washing-up I thought 'well, cows yield different amounts of milk: there are some cows which are never high yielders'.

My optimism returned slowly.  Firstly Mrs. Anaesthetist came to see me and the Baby and we were talking about all the things you feel a failure about as a mother: she didn't manage to breastfeed but has two gorgeous, healthy, bright children: as are Alex and Bella.  So why do we beat ourselves up?  When the midwife came to weigh Baby Son again and he had lost yet more weight, I felt disappointed and ready to switch to formula completely: as luck would have it however he decided to have a sleepy phase and started feeding better: a good 20 minutes at a time and then back to sleep at night, and refusing to take much, if any, formula.  In fact I'm now feeling somewhat better about the breastfeeding and shall continue for the time being. 

I worried about the baby last night however as he wee'd on his own face while we were changing his nappy yesterday (yes, even with child no.3 it's easier for two adults to change him than one).  Some went in his left eye and he now has conjunctivitis in that eye.  It would be funny and it's quite an achievement (I don't remember Older Son ever wee'ing quite so high) weren't it for the fact that his eye is swollen and sore and gunged up and I think it's also making him a bit snuffly: I woke him twice in the night to feed him as I was worried that he was sleeping too long and that he'd lose even more weight.  I love that little mite so much and so badly want him to be healthy and to thrive.  I can't believe how blessed we are to have a third beautiful baby, and one with whom I have fallen in love so much so quickly.

Being awake for only 20 minutes twice in the night has made me feel a lot less tired, and I'm not going to be too proud to give him a bottle if he tries the being-awake-for-several-hours trick again.  It's not worth it for either of us: and I don't need to prove that I can produce milk because I can see it.  Not floods of the stuff, but I hope enough for the baby.

My stomach is flattening rapidly and there's something rather pleasing about losing a stone in weight in the space of about 10 days without even trying.  Only another stone and a half or so to lose!  If it comes off as easily and as naturally I shall be extremely pleased.  I'm looking forward to the time when I can be more active as well - we had our first walk around Talkin Tarn at the weekend and it was great to be out in the fresh air.  We'd had snow in the night and had that beautiful combination of snow and sun: that golden late afternoon winter sunlight. 

The exercise and fresh air did the older children good: as is our policy of no treats and little TV during the week.  They are now eating vegetables sensibly at tea time and generally behaving better at the table, and also, we think, going to bed more readily.  We have decided that Friday night can be treat night, where if they eat their main course they can have chocolate; Saturday will be hot chocolate and cake day (either going out or making it at home); and Sunday is roast followed by pudding day.  I think Husband and I also feel healthier for not having snacky carbohydratey food at tea time as well.  Now we just need the grandparents to enforce the new regime as well.....

I'm slowly catching up on my 'admin.': my bank statement took several days to reconcile as I stopped halfway through; I've started some christmas/baby's birth thank you letters; and now am temporarily up to date on my blog.  I may even be able to start doing some singing practice before long - which reminds me that I need to send off my entry to Carlisle Festival.  But I think I shall go to bed first.