Sunday 12 September 2010

CONCERT AT ST. JOHN'S, UPPERBY, CARLISLE

Last night was a special evening.  Myrna Tennant, aged 15, was leading a concert entitled 'Myrna and Friends: Celebrating Music' at St. John's Church in Upperby.  The aim was to raise funds for her travel to the Royal Northern College of Music in Manchester 'junior' school each Saturday.

The programme for the evening was a lovely mix of performers and pieces and the entire event had quite a 'family party' feel to it. Myrna's Mum Mieke had put a huge amount of effort and thought into organising the show and it went really well, though I'm not sure that they will have raised much money from it!

For me the evening was special in more ways than one.  Firstly, it's a privilege to be considered part of Myrna's musical journey, and to watch her voice mature and see her develop as a performer over the past few years has been impressive and also quite humbling.  I am quite amazed that she considers me good enough to be of any help to her whatsoever, as she is far more talented as a singer and musician than I shall I ever be.  She will, if she chooses, definitely be one of the musical talents of the future: which is not to minimise the level of impact and status she has already obtained in the North Cumbrian musical world.

But two other things happened that evening which have made it a landmark occasion for me as well.  One was that the baby was squirming around a lot while I was sitting and listening to the other performers, and that was reassuring as I tend to be so busy with the other two and with 'doing stuff' that I don't always feel him moving as much as I'd like.  The second was a huge confidence boost to my singing.

I had rashly volunteered to do a couple of short solos (having already been asked to do a duet with Myrna anyway).  This was, really, going to be the first real solo work I had undertaken since shortly after leaving University: somehow singing the first verse of Once in Royal David's City in a choir concert last Christmas doesn't really count.

Having found recently that I've occasionally run out of breath during phrases, I was really worried that I had bitten off more than I could chew.  There were some relatively high notes in both my solo pieces, including, in one of them, some sustained top Gs: not really that high in the normal run of things, but the sort of thing which could go completely pear-shaped if nerves affected breathing.  However the acoutics of the church are fantastic to sing in: the 'box' really takes your voice and increases it, and good notes resonate beautifully, almost echoing.  If you want to sing loudly you only have to increase the effort a little and the church does the rest.  Fortunately I sang well (albeit there were some notes which weren't quite as pure as I'd have liked) and the top notes were fine.  Nor was I as shaky as I had feared I would be: I still remember so clearly singing in Carlisle Music & Drama Festival last March and shaking like a leaf!

I think doing an informal 'recital' at home to a very small group of friends a couple of weeks ago had helped: I think public singing, like public speaking, is one of those things where the more you do it the more you learn the tricks to help you control your voice and overcome nerves.  In addition there was another lady of 'older years' who sang a solo, so I wasn't the only middle-aged person doing a solo, and just before my slot Myrna and James Henderson, a talented young flautist, performed a Morricone piece from the music to the film The Mission.  That seemed like a good omen: I had the CD or tape of the music and played it repeatedly in my car when I lived and worked out in the Pyrenees, and I ended up considering it my 'mountain music'.  The Pyrenees was a very special place for me, and I remember one particular day when I was driving up the mountains in dense cloud with that music playing, to burst out into brilliant blue skies and sunshine near the summit.  A thick layer of cloud then lay below us, looking as if you could just step off the edge of the mountain and walk on it.  That is what heaven will be like.

I now feel more confident to pursue other solo singing options, and I'm grateful to Myrna and Mieke for giving me the opportunity to sing yesterday: I'm not sure they realise how much it has boosted my confidence.  I'm never going to make a career out of it, but as I've discussed with a few people, there's something in some of us which makes us want to stand in front of people and perform, whether or not we're really good enough.  My fear is always that I won't be good enough: yesterday evening I felt I was.

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